The Eternally Obvious - An Excerpt of NYC

I wanted to post this much earlier but somehow missed to do so!

An experience of one of the many, with a very close friend made me escape from the present and have a good time. I have to commend her for the time she spent and for those innumerable clicks of mine that she took despite her health not being in a good shape. 

I have always known little about her and yet so intricate was our friendship, where pain could be shared and be relived off to be ready to re live it in the future yet to come. A nice long weekend to be introduced to another person in the same lines who was kind enough to show me the rushed New York City. The concrete jungle and the land of immense chaotic order. What can I say about the city, that has never been told about. The experience was indeed a splendid one with a very good friend by the side to share.

For anyone there are only few moments of joy that can be boxed up to recollect in the future and relive the past. This trip was indeed one of them. There were moments, the beach of Atlantic city and the time spent on Brooklyn Bridge that I wouldn't forget and thanks to that friendship that started about 6 years ago. 

Growth Potential

It is that normal day, while following the routines cords, which suddenly turns out to be a day of so much of growth potential. I out of the blue realized that if I actually put in that effort to learn, there is so much to learn, so much to grow about. Knowledge is in every nuke and corner of the society, it is just the individual interest that needs to be vested upon.

In a regular everyday routine, I went out to lunch with this guy from Cameroon. An African nation in the third world, where to get basic education is a not an easy thing. People would have to strive for basic needs. Thinking about it and talking to this guy who has come from such circumstances and is infact an FSA, taught me so much. There is so much to learn about and inturn me in my self-sufficientness am sulking for these trivial things in life.

The concept learning and the value of education is so important in a humans life that too in this state of the world where everything moves at suprisingly high alacrity. Its time to change, to take a different turn from the routine and develop in the routine cords. Following the pattern is inevitable but there can be a lot done by doing so too. I would want to cherish this moment of self realization to lead, to live.

I am glad that after a very long period, I write this blog with content, the same content, I actually started writing with.

Forgetfulness!!

In the multitude of emotions, I was reiterating through all the moments of joy I have had in the recent past in a constant urge to forget, as told by the person whom I love the most, and later realized it is near to impossible to do so. After all that you have had on your plate, after all that you have gone through, it is impossible to let go if you have ever liked a person more than your personal self.

But, amongst all the if's and but's in life, that is possible only if you haven't took the relationship/love seriously in the first place. I sit back in this couch in a near death situation and think. Is it really worth it? I have given my best of interest to this wonderful girl to realize that the affection I meant was never taken seriously. As all the past memories linger in my mind, there is nothing that was never even tried to recollect in her mind.

The Ordeal - Lessons Learnt

Its been quite past few months that I thought of writing and much did I notice that the whole concept of blogging had withered off late with time , catapulting to the laziness catalyzed by the advancement of technologies and prioritizing the effect of communicating. It is not that I am an atheist to technology. I am a excessive nerd to that matter when it comes to gadgets and how machines are masterminds to the minds that actually invented them.

Anyways, coming to the point of what I have been doing and what I would have been doing and what has been done. There is a lot of life that has been surpassed within these few months and I anticipate that's how life jolts by regardless of anything.

To me it was quite an ordeal and of the fact is as of now, but to that perennial thought, I have learnt and would continue to learn. Having succumbed to the influential opposite ordeals, which I was so strong I would be impeccable in dealing with such certain situations, I have learnt and relentlessly been learning that it is just a spec of thought that would keep you constricted to the way you think.

Realizing that now one would understand what I am talking about, I conclude thinking that I have conveyed it to myself.

There is more to life than love!!(in reference)

Time the most quintessential factor in this framed life, has a lot to teach, to have that "clarity in thought". I am getting to realize that everything that has happened had a purpose to teach me, to make me realize that i am always a learner till the last breath. The essence is that regardless of the insurmountable amount of pain that I have been going through, I see that there is peace of mind even in pain. As said in some movie(which I am not able to recollect to endorse) that every experience has a purpose in life to be taught.

I have to say that I have been lucky all my life to whatever that I have endured till now was of minimum effort and is purely luck that counted on me. If I have had gone through any pain that is basically because of deed, irrespective of the fact that I have been brought up by my parents with utmost care and knowledge for which wouldn't remorse to any extent, would I have know that efficacy.

Ignorance of not knowing.. there is so much to learn than to get wasted upon.

A Girl, A Broken Heart and The Lost Identity!

It is a mid Monday morning of Memorial Day and I sit in one corner of my room thinking about the past, present and with no clue about the future. I have had many holidays when I used to get up in ease and enjoy the morning raaga with just my computer then and spend the rest of the day without any pain of being left alone or confused on what to do next. But the past few months, I have experienced pain to the core and nothing more than that. I know I am speaking in such pathos, that the world might get to an end, but its my unending helplessness of liking(trying to avoid the 'loving' as much so that, if there is a hint, to forget her) her.

I know in many a context she isnt the best fit, but liking with knowing the fact is what has brought me into the situation where I am right now. But, in my sincere effort to forget her, I want to not like her as much as I do. Alas, I am so messed up that I am not able to contradict her in any way!

The journey has been painful, but I hope I survive through it. The Hope, huh, through which I have been coming all along trying to push it further, trying to pull the stings together, is now wading off in pain. Why pain?? If anyone asks me, I wouldn't have an answer, but atleast if I could realize that there is no pain involved if there no love on both the sides. If its just one person thing then, it should rather be a one time effort and me effortlessly coming out of it. But, that is the lost identity in me that I have lost the capability of forgetting on the spur.

I dare not to be involved, anytime going forward, as I am now. I am writing todays parchment only to come out of the illustrious painful world for a bit to realize my true identity, but it is damn difficult. No I fear, if this is it, if this how it is going to be in future.

Lost direction, is what I feel now, life is so similar to this blog-post. With uncertainty, I pick up the call from her now..This is how confused I am!!

vantage point

i was told, advised, reiterated many number of times that she is not the one for you. i felt it too a couple of times, but i didn't know why i liked her so much. to this very minute, regardless of the countless ways she has rejected, blamed, provoked, dumped me, even then i don't know why i like her.

but of all the pathos in life, i realize its for the good. i would still respect her, its been more than 12hrs past that we stopped talking and i come to realize, not that she is not correct for me as everybody says, but she is the perfect woman for sharing the life with me. But as said, you can never have the perfect black body, i realize that there is much more to achieve than to just boggle around with indefinite affection and grounding the rest of my life activities.

she has been quite a profound impact on me, she was quite impulsive. But the fact would remain the same, i love her. No matter how much i try to forget her, even by pinpointing the impulsive factor, i am not able to compromise on the fact that she was meant for me for life.

i am not sure where i am going with this, but if all that is meant to happen for good happens, i would reconcile one day that happiness, i predict now, to be worth the trauma of loosing her momentarily as of now. but there is a big "IF" before all this.

Man! i have darn'd to be like this, this one girl has topsy-turveyed my rather stable capricornian lifestyle.. all i can do is just sit and live in predicament of whats coming next, is it good or is it bad or is it as confused as it has been in the last few months.. waiting does take the toll sometimes.